Tomb Gloom
- Adventuring On
- 2020-06-29
- Commentary
-
- Retelling
- We found a bunch of bones
Just like good ol' Dr. Jones
They all came to life
and caused a lot of strife
But we had all just gained new tricks
And dispatched with them real quick
Our rogue Lyrad
Showed that she was bad
ass enough to go
and fight toe to toe
and forego her bow
Sneaky old Mugs
wasn't dealing hugs
with her vicious attack
made a skeleton go snap
We all went rushing in
When we heard the battle's din
Juniper changed her shape
And our mouths went agape
A skeleton took a slash
And gave Juniper a slash
Another shot at Lyrad
But its shot went bad
Another swung its blade
And Lyrad was dismayed
To take a hit
From that shit
Rys whispered at a foe
And away it did go
Then Lyrad fumbled her bow
And running to the group did go
Then Will swung at a foe
And took a nasty blow
She then swung her paws
And missed with her claws
Mugs used her sword
But couldn't find a score
Then to make the skeleton stagger
She used her trusty dagger
The skeleton did survive
But was barely left alive
Juniper went to bite
But went way wide to the right
Vale took a sword that's short
And the skeleton he did thwart
The skeleton attacked our spider
But its blade did not bite her
Hoj charge in to attack
And gave the skeleton a thwack
It quickly snapped in two
And the battle then was through
Hoj further shot it with a bolt
Which gave the crumbling bones a jolt
Juniper hung from the ceiling
Giving us all a creepy feeling
Hoj looked around
but only saw the ground
Juniper shed her form
And seemed pretty forlorn
That she hadn't make a kill
Though it all gave us a thrill
Mugs found some coins
And failed to avoid
Tipping her hand
To the rest of our band
We all started to bicker
And the conversation got quicker
So I'll just say we argued
Over a platinum coin or two
Hoj healed Mugs
Without the use of drugs
But by setting a door alight
He gave us all a fright
Poison gas poured in green
And Hoj and Mugs didn't feel keen
But that was the worst of it
And no one really gave a shit
We found another chest
And Vale did his best
To check it for traps
And found some of that crap
He used his tools of thieves
To try to relieve
The chest of it's snare
But was apparently unprepared
He triggered more poison gas
And it sprayed all over his ass
And other members too
And most of them got screwed
Out of only a small bit of health
So Vale went back to finding wealth
The chest popped open wide
And we all peered inside
There was a coin-filled purse
And a potion that would nurse
The imbiber back to health
But that was all the wealth
The back door was next
And we all seemed a bit vexed
To find that it was locked
But that was all for naught
Lyrad used her thieve's tools
To pop open that fool
But it was just a loop around
Still no exit had been found
We check on the last door
And were actually quite bored
To see it neither locked nor trapped
But we all exclaimed "crap"
We went back to the room before
And peeked through another door
Where there were statues galore
And we talked to them once more
But only after checking the doors
Juniper took some magic to her eyes
But was not caught surprised
Rys thought that could be tragic
And decided to detect magic
Hoj used his divine sense
But still remained tense
Because he felt nothing at all
From neither statues nor walls
Juniper was rendered blind
Which certainly put her in a bind
Why we'd waited for dear Rys
She might still being seeing in peace
Vale went to levitate the stones
And they weren't too big boned
One lifted off the ground
And then dropped it back down
The stone took a dent or two
But otherwise it didn't do
Much to that darn thing
But boy did our ears ring!
Mugs went up to a rock
And it gave us a not much shock
To see that she was froze
Which just goes to show
That we should have waited for Rys
To wake and say his piece
About what these things were all about
But now that option just went out
Lyrad ran for a door
Avoiding statues galore
She threw the door wide
And we all peered inside
A bat flew to her back
Ready to attack
Mugs ran after 'rad
Because this room was bad
Juniper got back her sight
As Vale ran in fright
To the other closed door
And stopped to make sure
That the door was safe
And he didn't hardly wait
Before heading on inside
With Juniper the bat astride
Will performed a song
While Rys' ritual took _so long_
The statues looked around
But otherwise held their ground
Then they blinded poor old Will
Who decided she would still
Head towards Juniper and Vale
In the hopes that they would bail
Her out of her blind plight
With the help of their good sight
But then Juniper was stunned
Which wasn't any fun
She dropped down to the ground
And made a thumping sound
As her bat body hit the dirt
But she somehow wasn't hurt
Will fumbled for our bat friend
And found her in the end
With the help of shouts from Mugs
So she gave that bat a hug
Rys finally came around
And saw enchantments were abound
But no exits could he detect
So Hoj decided they should be wrecked
Fire bolts flew fast and fierce
But they're stone, they hardly pierced
Fire doesn't burn rock
Which shouldn't have been a shock
Hoj and Rys snuck past the stones
And realized Vale was all alone
Mugs popped open a door
and it wasn't long before
The merry band was back in full
And this room was looking dull
Juniper fluttered around
Then returned her feet to solid ground
Rys saw an evocative door
But we weren't really sure
How to handle it
But it scared us quite a bit
It was covered in some runes
And Rys felt like he'd had prunes
From the sensation in his pants
When his saw Hoj advance
We all ran for the hall
As Hoj went to take the fall
Hoj focused on his past
While he gave the door a blast
The door withstood the shot
But it fired something hot
Across the room and in the hall
Where it splashed harmlessly on a wall
Hoj destabilized a rune
And we realized it would be soon
That the doorway would succumb
And from Hoj having all his fun
The door erupted into flames
And we no longer felt ashamed
For hiding far away
Because out lots of flames did spray
There a solitary figure stood
And we figured he was not good
It turned out to be undead
And we decided to have its head
It turned out to be a wight
And we decided we would fight
And send it back to hell
Through bow and sword and spell
Rys tried to sneak around
But fell flat upon the ground
Along with rogue Lyrad
They both felt pretty bad
The rest picked up their arms
And tried to do the creature harm
By using ranged attacks
To keep the foul beast back!
Hoj's thrown bolt went way wide
Then Mugs threw a dagger in its side
Vale fired his arrow straight
But the damage wasn't great
Juniper stepped into the fray
And her ice knife didn't stray
And its explosion also flayed
Much to the wight's dismay
Will shot a crossbow bolt
And gave the wight a jolt
The wight reached for his bow
And Rys' initiative was low
Hoj charged forward
With wrathful smite upon his sword
He caught the creature's chest
But his damage wasn't his best
The wight seemed to resist the blade
And everyone was dismayed
Hoj delivered a might blow
But again damage was quite low
The wight seemed to resist
Both harm from sword and fist
Magic might be the trick
To kill this creature quick
Mugs took an arrow from the wight
And it nearly put out her lights
And fired another shot at Will
And he shot it with great skill
Will took it in the side
And she almost died
Lyrad shot it in the ear
And ensnared it and we cheered
Vale put a hunters mark on its ass
And ran forward really fast
He thrust his sword in deep
And that wight, he sure did weep
Vale called for magical attacks
As the wight is resistant to smacks
Juniper gave Mugs a potion
And then she got the notion
To throw another chilly knife
Straight into the foul wight
The knife blew into bits
And Vale and Hoj had to dodge that shit
Vale almost took a shard to the eye
But was a very clever guy
And absorbed the icy chill
And made sure it would spill
Back into his sword
For its next swing forward
Rys made a whisper of dissonance
That made the wight shit his pants
He high fived his mage hand
For his actions oh so grand
Will quaffed a potion quick
Then cross-bowed that wight prick
The wight collapsed into a pile
And Will pounced with a wicked smile
And she tore its head in twain
And its black ichor down did rain
The group let out a cheer
All grinning ear to ear
It was time to regain our health
And divide up evenly our wealth
We inspected some more doors
And found something cook us to our cores
But that is where we pause
For this bard to get applause