Lyrad's Lachrymose Lesson

Adventuring On
2020-10-05
Commentary
A bard lives and dies by his ability to entertain. He must always seek balance between pushing the boundaries of art, and satiating the desires of the masses. As such, I have eschewed with Haiku and returned to couplets. My duty is first and foremost to my countless fans and patrons.
Retelling
We suspected that our dear Loreena Had ingested lots of mana But it seemed she'd learned some stuff About all of this magic snuff She'd poured some of the powdered mana Into a drink, as she didn't wanna Ingest the powder via huff She said that route was pretty tough Some people had all their magic return But others found themselves concerned They got back only some of their tricks Manatea wasn't a guaranteed fix Still the progress gave us hope And Juniper, who is no dope, Said that we should go and see The Treemother and the Watcher Tree To see if we could perhaps restore Magic to Rampart's waning food stores She grabbed Loreena by the arm And headed straight off to the farms We all arrived at the Conclave And to Treemother, Juniper waved The centenarian invited us in And then discussion did begin About whether to water the Watcher Tree With some of Loreena's Manatea The Treemother opted to try it first And drank Manatea to slake her thirst She gasped, she heaved, she coughed and sputtered We thought perhaps we'd lose the Treemother But then it seemed the worst was past And her magic skills returned quite fast She felt excited and said she'd soon See the Watcher Tree and commune To see if the thirsty tree Might want a swig of Manatea Without much left to do 'round there The group all set off to prepare Themselves for their next part of the quest We all went to do what we do best Juniper stayed at the conclave Hoping that some crops she'd save By giving water and some aid And sought to get some potions made To Philipe, Juniper went The blue Tiefling with his French accent Was overjoyed at the notion That he could help make healing potions To the lower quarter, went Hoj and Vale And Rys ended up as their tail Rys had some new material to try out About these works he felt much doubt So he thought it best to perform In taverns that were not his norm Lest his new works were a bomb Though great bards rarely have such qualms Haiku after haiku, Rys did read Haiku after haiku, did no one heed It was as though he read to the air It seemed that no one even cared Rys was crushed as his latest work Fell on the deaf ears of these jerks Who were they to ignore his verses? At them he murmured many curses Rys slunk, defeated from the stage Too sad to even feel enraged His failure had a bitter taste The tavern, Rys wished to leave in haste Off to the Exped Forces' camp Lyrad and Mugs did merrily scamp Lyrad talked with her old Forcey friends While Mugs sneaked off to pretend To be a member of the force To look for evidence, of course Of what had happened to the folks Who'd left Rampart to live in the oaks She broke into Zakaria's room An act that would soon spell her doom The office was packed full of gear Where Mugs should start wasn't too clear Lyrad thought it was time to go And when asked, said she didn't know Much about the column of light And departed from her friends' campsite Mugs rifled through the Captain's stuff And found a drawer that was quite tough To open, then she heard a knock And heard Lyrad quietly squawk "Is that you Mugs? Are you inside?" Mugs pulled in Lyrad so they'd both hide Mugs returned to fussing with the drawer Certain it had what she looked for She heard a click and felt a dart Stick into her leg's softer parts And felt some poison flood her veins All this sleuthing was a pain! Lyrad healed her up real quick And Mugs pocketed her set of lock picks And yanked the drawer further open But did not achieve what she was hopin' Instead a cloud of white powder shot Into her face and she quickly dropped Knocked out cold by some sleeping dust This investigation seemed a bust Lyrad slapped poor Mugs awake And took over the search for Mugs' sake Lyrad yanked the drawer once more And released a storm of darts that tore From the walls and into the pair And many more passed through the air Lodging in arms and legs and walls And all their poisoned tips did cause Lyrad and Mugs to feel quite sick But still they didn't yet feel licked Lyrad yanked the drawer out from the desk And Mugs swirled round, feeling quite wrecked Then came a jiggle from the door And both felt frightened to their core When the door came crashing in Mugs quickly assumed Hoj's skin Then Zakaria rushed in, great sword drawn And could not believe what she saw Lyrad stood, mind in a fog Bristling with darts like a hedge hog "I'm knight Hoj" Mugs blurted out Casting her disguise in doubt Zakaria demanded to know Why these two had thought to go And break into the Captain's room Zakaria clearly fumed "I'm knight Hoj" Mugs repeated Losing cred each time 'twas bleated "I know it's you Mugs, please drop the act" Zakaria said with tact "Now explain before I run you through I'm quite disappointed in you two" The pair explained they sought to know What happened to the people who did go From the city out into the woods Something about it seemed not good Zakaria explained the need for hush Lest the EF's reputation be crushed That one of their own had lead the group Of villagers to fly the coop "You want to know what's in that drawer, To know what your treachery has scored?" Lyrad looked down inside And probably felt her heart just die All the drawer seemed to contain Was a letter, a picture, and some remains All pertaining to Zakaria's sis With sorrow, Lyrad's heart dihisced Their investigation came at great cost For damages, and Zakaria's trust lost Lyrad and Mugs felt dismayed At the debt they could never repay To the Deathlord, Fenn and Selene went To tell him of all the recent events Thromgar said his life's a bore Without connection to Kelemvor Fenn said there might be a solution To Thromgar's feelings of destitution He spoke of Mayo and Manatea And the kind of help that they may be But before Thromgar could reply Something odd caught his eye Cinnabar appeared and looked quite pleased "I knew you'd find just what I need!"