Distasteful Discussion of Dragonborn

Adventuring On

2021-03-15

Retelling

We opted to ask Kelv to layout this "deal" And Kelv did his best to present his appeal He blithely advised us we sucked at out jobs And that for survival is why he would rob He seemed quite remorseless about his misdeeds How he put before others' his own selfish needs We quickly decided we'd heard quite enough And canvased the cavern collecting up stuff Will went and spoke with the other captives And asked them just how much they ate here to live It seemed that they'd stolen far more than they ate If they could explain that, Will'd find that just great They dropped off the extra way out to the west In its place they would find there a gold-laden chest So someone was buying this ill-gotten crop Through use of a prearranged, secret, dead drop Kelv disappeared and crawled out of his cage Our worries about this were quickly assuaged He reappeared shortly and gave up his arms And told us he no longer meant any harm We bound him up soundly along with his crew And on eight giant owls the whole party flew Back to small Edgecliff where Kelv's crew reunite And we hunkered down there to stay overnight The next morning Kelv's mouth was running once more And Juniper though he'd become quite a bore So quickly she sunk a blade into his skull And boy did that one blow sure take quite a toll Kelv shriveled up as his soul passed along To a woman I've already praised in some songs Bolgrana, the fair and the just and the brave Would surely use Kelv's wretched soul as a slave Lyrad was quick to lay claim to his vest Which gleamed like it had just been carefully pressed Mugs perused Kelv's holding bag with delight But found in it little that seemed to excite The party debated just what they should do With Kelv's vacant body now dead at their shoes "Let's see if the villagers want him for meat" "Those born of dragons are sure good to eat" Rys was appalled at this speciesist talk Of course at Kelv's manner, he'd certainly balked But to _eat_ him was simply a ghoulish idea Why the very notion gave poor Rys dyspnea Vale settled matters by grabbing the corpse And into the ethereal plane they both warped Vale buried the scoundrel way down in the dirt Before anyone's feelings would end up more hurt The bandits were left to decide their own fates And the townsfolk decided that it would be great If the bandits would join them and work in the town But we needed one thing before they settled down We asked for a guide to the secret drop zone As this was a myst'ry we shan't leave alone A man volunteered just as quick as could be "I'll help you get there, my name's Gymothee"